So  yesterday Naomi had her tonsils out .. and she's just pathetic laying around.. no energy.. its just not that vibrant little 9 yr old that I know and love !! I really hope she gets to feeling better soon !  

All day today she was doing fine, drinking liquids and resting ... then Laurie wants to feed her Fruit... I said, well, I dont know if the fruit is that good of an idea... because its acidy.. so she gives it to her anyway..  Then Laurie says that she is going to go overnight with Tolga and god only knows who else... I'm like umm ok .  Thinking in my fucking head that its only the day after your daughters surgery and your going over night and leaving her with me and Patrick to take care of her... ok , basically , ME.. because Patrick stays in the fucking room all night.  

So all the sudden, we are both in the room and Naomi is makes a sound... I come out and she's throwing up.. guess what she's throwing up ?? FRUIT ! Imagine that !  So, I yell for Patrick, grab a bucket and she's throwing up into the bucket now, and its all over the floor.. I ask Patrick to take her to the bathroom... He does and I clean up the mess.... she's in the bathroom with her little head over the toilet.. and gagging.. Patrick is standing outside the door... i really don't think he knew what to do. Anyhow ... she's done throwing up and then she comes back out and lays on the couch... lifeless... just so run down that it's sad. 

She goes to the kitchen and wants to eat noodles.. i'm like no baby.. go lay down, you need to let your tummy rest. So she goes and lays down.. Next thing I know, she's throwing up again .. this time she runs to the bathroom and it sitting on the toilet and throwing up on the floor. So I go in there.. hold her haid back.. am holding the bucket in front of her and then I notice there is blood in the bowl... I go in and tell Patrick that.. and him and Naomi both tell me there was blood in the throw up from the first time . I don't know if that is bad or not, so I of course freak out. While Naomi is on the toilet, I call Laurie for a second time.. the first time I call her, she's like , give her some of the liquid Codine to help with her pain. I said, I don't think thats a good idea, she'll throw it up .. and she said, just tell her, i want her to take it.. Thankfully I don't give it to her. So I tell Laurie about the blood in the throw up .. and i'm scared and worried about Naomi.. I don't know if the blood is just because of the stress of throwing up on her incision .. or if that's not normal.. So Laurie tells me to call the number on the pamphlet and then call her back.. So I call them, explain it all, they tell me to call Telehealth and give me the number. I call them and of course, all the nurses are busy and someone will call me back in 3-45 minutes.. Finally someone calls me back and they tell me that i have a right to be  concerned.. they ask me alot of questions... and then they tell me that Naomi should be taken to the home doctor... or someone should call them ... if not, she should be taken to the hospital for an emergency visit. They also told me, no more medicine inless its neccisary.. which means no Codine, just the anti biotic which she needs to take 2 times a day.. so, again, thankfully I didn't give it to her... I call Laurie after that and tell her everything .. after Tolga acts like he's a fucking doctor. He should just stay out of it . Laurie says she had Naomi brush her teeth this morning and there was blood then too.. But I'm freaked out.. and Laurie fucking sighs and says do you want me to come home ? I said, what do you want me to say? She said , well do you feel comfortable ? I said no , not with your daughter throwing up  and throwing up blood.. she said, well, we'll take her to the doctors tommorrow.. TOMMORROW ????? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??? 

Seriously.. sometimes I don't know about her... I don't know about her being a good mom .. Maybe that's why Christina is as fucked up as she is !! Now, I sorta get it a little bit .. 

She's not comming home til tommorrow.. And I don't want Naomi sleeping out here alone .. so I guess i'm sleeping out here in the living room on the chair or the floor or the SMALL ass couch.. I'm so fucking annoyied right now ! ! ! ! 

Naomi is passed out sleeping and I'm worried about her.. I swear.. I can't wait to have my own kids.. I know that I am going to be an amazing mom .!!!! I already know what not to do and what to do ... for the most part anyhow. 

Ok, I'm going now.. thank god I started writing in this journal again.. it's saving me from ripping my hair out !!